On June 12th 10 pm (Dutch time) the waiting is finally over: In Arena Corinthians, Sao Paolo, home country Brazil will kick off the FIFA world cup against Croatia. With less than a month to go and orange fever slowly starting to rear its fugly head, I want you to be prepared to experience this tournament in the best possible orange way.
Today I’ll dig into the world of orange-supporting clothes that come with beer.
What to wear
Every time a big football tournament comes around (US readers: when I say “football”, I refer to this game where you kick the ball with your feet, the one you funnily call soccer) virtually all big companies come up with some kind of marketing campaign that involves you bringing their branded orange stuff into your homes. Usually you get this for free or cheap, provided you buy some of their products. Especially companies that make beer seem to be on top of this, probably because of the watch football – drink beer relationship. Of course you can just re-use your King’s Day outfit, that’s still lying around anyway, but if you want to be up-to-date, happening and so now you’d better keep on reading.
Holland’s largest beer maker made a lot of (literal) noise during 2010’s world cup with their orange vuvuzelas. This time they pulled something a little more subtle out of their sleeves.
The looks: A mix of orange and Heineken green. It slightly reminds me of one of the ugliest shirts the Dutch team ever wore (but the most successful!), that of ’88. The Sambashirt looks like a normal football shirt, which makes it good to not stand out too much amid the orange crowd.
Special feature: It has “little samba balls” in the seams. So when you jump up and down or just shake your orange booty, Brazilian rhythms will accompany your moves.
How to get it: Just get a crate of Heineken at your supermarket. The shirt will be free.
XH says: Fine shirt. You can’t really go wrong with this one.
In South Africa 2010 Bavaria guerrilla-marketed their Dutch Dress by sending good-looking young women wearing it into a Heineken-dominated stadium. The girls were arrested, photos went all over the world and Bavaria had their publicity. For Brazil’s cup, staying in the dress department, they joined forces with famous designer Pedro Lourenço and model/actress Luisa Moraes.
The looks: I like the way this looks. Stylish, I’d say. Results may vary though, depending on who is wearing the HolánDress. Note that it’s one size fits all, with all = anyone who manages to squeeze her butt into a size 40.
Special feature: After a hard day of cheering on your favorite team, at night you put on your HolánDress inside-out and dance samba all night long in your Brazil-themed flowery dress.
How to get it: As of May 19th HolánDress will be available, combined with a six-pack of Bavaria, for € 12.99.
XH says: Great choice for slim good-looking football-loving women. I see this working for drag queens as well.
Jupiler: Jup Holland Jup
Belgian brewer Jupiler, that already tied its name to Dutch second-division football competition Jupiler League is one of the official sponsors in Brazil. Either they thought this fact to be cool enough to overwhelm everything else, or they really thought the slogan they have been using for quite some time now stood all signs of time. Jup Holland Jup it was in 2010, Jup Holland Jup it was in 2012 and Jup Holland Jup it will be this year.
The looks: The shirt comes in three varieties: Orange, white and black and has Dutch team’s legend Johan Cruyff’s number 14 on the back. Unfortunately that is about as exciting as this shirt is going to be. You could wear this shirt on the bus, to school or to the gym and no one will notice anything unusual at all.
Special feature: The Jup Holland Jup shirt is a shirt. With a number on the back.
How to get it: To become the proud owner of this versatile little devil, all you have to do is buy a crate of Jupiler beer.
XH says: Boooring. Get this if you drink Jupiler beer anyway and are in the market for a featureless shirt with a lame slogan on it.
Croky: WK Strijkplaatjes
This one doesn’t come with beer, but I think I can get away with saying that WK Strijkplaatjes (World cup iron-on patches) of potato chips giant Croky come with stuff that comes with beer. Kind of. The idea is simple: You can turn your own plain clothing (or your Jup Holland Jup shirt) into a Dutch team branded wardrobe. Just iron on and you’re all set to go!
The looks: Simple does it. The patches (there are 18 different ones) are round. On each one there is a different Dutch player posing in front of the flag.
Special feature: Even players of whom we already know they are not going to be playing have their own patch (Strootman, Stekelenburg)! The disadvantage of using actual players in your campaign. You can’t expect the humongous factory in China to stay informed on the fitness of a football player in the Netherlands.
How to get it: It’s in your bag of Croky chips. Be careful not to eat it.
XH says: Great if you want to cheer along but don’t like to be too obvious about it. A subtle accessory for the football fan with fashion awareness.
While not pretending to be anywhere near comprehensive, I think the above should give you an impression of what’s going on in the orange-clothes-that-come-with-beer market. At the time of writing, the other big brewer Grolsch hadn’t announced anything that would fit that description yet. Let’s end this by giving a little bit of personal advice on how to get through the world cup in orange (hey, it’s only 3 matches).
Put on your Sambashirt and bring a girl in her HolánDress. Top it off by placing some WK-strijkplaatjes strategically on your pants (use absent players for extra street creds). When (if?) the Dutch team scores, jump up, take the hand of your beautiful HolánDressed girl and dance to the rhythm of your little samba balls. Then put your hands over your mouth and whisper softly: Jup Holland Jup.
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